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13 Mythical Beliefs about Hypnosis

Mythical Beliefs about Hypnosis

Along with Some Truths

Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt, Editor*

 

Clinical hypnotism is a rapid-change technique which has gained much more credibility in the last 50 to 70 years. This has occurred as a result of increasing public respect, because of friends telling friends about beneficial (and sometimes miraculous) benefits they have achieved in many areas.  These include-but are not limited to–weight-loss, smoking cessation, stress, anxiety disorders, phobias, depression, medical conditions, self-esteem, childbirth, fertility.  Also, new protocols have been developed through academic research and creative application of the principles of the craft.  And academic studies of its efficacy have impressed physicians, nurses, physician’s assistants, other medical professionals, psychotherapists, and others in the healing arts who refer clients to hypnotists.

 

But many people still hold misconceptions about the powers and limitations of this wonderful treatment method. This article presents clarifications of some of the most popular myths about hypnotism.

Myth 1

Loss of consciousness.

One of the major misconceptions about hypnosis is that the hypnotized person will lose conscious awareness.  In hypnosis the subject does not lose awareness or fall asleep.  Part of this misconception is based on the name hypnosis which was first used by physician James Braid, after Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep.  The name stuck, and so we hypnotists are stuck with describing what we do as hypnosis, despite its total dissimilarity with sleep.  Hypnosis more closely approximates normal waking consciousness than it does sleep, although, when a person is hypnotized, suggestions are often used which induce a drowsy lethargic state.

In the state of hypnosis a client is alert and aware of all that’s going on around him/her.  Studies employing the electroencephalogram (EEG) were initiated as early as the 1950’s by Aserinsky and Kleitman.  These researchers sought a physiological connection, as defined by EEG criteria, between hypnosis and sleep.  No distinct brain psychophysiology has yet been identified indicating that the EEG of a hypnotized person is distinguishable from that of a person who is relaxed and alert with eyes closed.  Moreover, a deeply sleeping individual will not hear if spoken to, unless roughly awakened by shaking.  Yet a person in hypnosis though seemingly oblivious, will (with a few exceptions) hear and respond to the hypnotist’s speaking.  In a state of hypnosis a person is capable of thinking and reasoning, which doesn’t occur in sleep.

Myth 2

Hypnotized people do crazy things.

This can be said of people whether they are in a hypnotic trance or in a normal waking state.  Just look at the daily news!  But if you have ever witnessed a stage hypnosis show, you can see how people could get the impression that people do odd things in a hypnotic state and that the hypnotist’s commands are followed without question.  Hypnotists who consult with the public to help them with their everyday issues tell the concerned client that stage hypnotists are entertainers.  To achieve an entertaining show, the hypnotist must invoke in his or her volunteer subjects outrageous and comical behavior.  People only go into hypnosis if they want to, and they only accept the suggestions they wish to accept.  So, often in a stage hypnosis show, volunteers refuse the suggestions given to them, and they are then usually sent off the stage and back to their seats.

Hypnotism in an office setting is used for serious, rapid-change purposes, and so suggestions won’t be made for the subject to engage in any absurdities, as in stage shows.  If one were asked to do so, s/he would emerge from hypnosis and most likely leave the office and consult another hypnotist.  Also, not everything you see at a stage “hypnosis” show is hypnosis.  The entertainers employ many different maneuvers in order to manipulate the volunteers into doing the silly and outlandish behaviors which the audience paid to see.

Myth 3

Surrender of the will or loss of control.

If hypnotists could get their subjects to do their will, hypnotism would be one of the most legislated professions on earth!  Control by the hypnotist is a common misconception portrayed in grade B movies, where the hypnotist character uses his power to accomplish evil purposes such as seducing the beautiful young woman. While some might find this entertaining, the truth is far more mundane:  All hypnotism is really self-hypnosis.  The subject takes in each suggestion and, if acceptable, gives it back to himself or herself. This means that hypnosis is a consensual state and a collaboration between the subject and the hypnotist. If a subject does not want to enter hypnosis or accept the suggestions being given, s/he will not.

Hypnotism is a profession which usually draws kind-hearted, well-meaning, spiritual, ethical, and altruistic people. Also, successful hypnotists usually subscribe to a code of ethics. For instance, the National Guild of Hypnotists, the largest society of professional hypnotists in the world, mandates all of its members to subscribe to its ethical canons.  These canons require hypnotists to place the client first in all matters. NGH-certified hypnotists jealously guard their reputations and their right to belong to the Guild.

Myth 4

Revelation of secrets and hypnosis as truth serum or lie detector.

These misconceptions again comes from the old movie image of hypnosis where the all-powerful hypnotist mesmerizes a hapless victim to involuntarily reveal a secret formula or other sensitive information.  Hypnosis is often believed, by those who have not experienced this beneficial state, to be a truth serum.  When in a state of hypnosis, a client will not reveal or discuss anything that s/he would not disclose in a normal waking state.  However, hypnosis is a powerful modality in helping people to uncover secrets they have from themselves.  In hypnotic regression, it is often possible to recover forgotten information which can be useful in helping people to solve problems they’ve been unable to fix through other methods, including psychotherapy.

People often call hypnotists to be get themselves or others hypnotized in order to reveal some sought-after truth or to prove innocence.  Most often it involves a romantic relationship, and there’s a suspicion of infidelity.  The caller wants to use hypnosis to determine the truth about the other’s sexual behavior, or to prove his or her own fidelity.  Because all hypnosis is really self-hypnosis and because the state of hypnosis usually feels no deeper than being immersed in a task or a good book, then, of course, people can lie while in the hypnotic state!  If your mate wants to prove his or her innocence, s/he should consent to a lie detector test.

Myth 5

Getting stuck in hypnosis.

Often the prospective subject will ask, “What happens if you cannot get me out of hypnosis?  What if you have a heart attack while I’m hypnotized?”  The answer, “Open your eyes and get me help!”  There is no danger of the subject not being revived from hypnosis.  Because the subject holds the control, there is no difficulty in terminating the hypnotic state,

Except in rare circumstances when the subject is having such a pleasant experience, that s/he chooses not to emerge for awhile longer.

Often treatment is hastened when clients listen to recorded hypnosis programs or do self-hypnosis at home. At the end of the hypnosis sessions, they either bring themselves out of hypnosis or fall asleep.

On rare occasions the suggestions to terminate hypnosis will be ignored.  There are two possible reasons for this:

1)    The subject has lapsed into a natural sleep, in which case the hypnotist will have lost communication and rapport, or

2)    The hypnotic state may be so pleasurable that the subject does not wish to emerge and will ignore back-to-awareness suggestions.  This of course disproves the notion that the hypnotist has any control over the subject.

If there is no response to the reviving suggestions, there is no cause for alarm.  An experienced hypnotist would have no problem handling this situation, which rarely occurs.

Myth 6A

Weakmindedness.

A common misconception is that only the weak-willed or feebleminded can be hypnotized.  Contrary to this belief, intelligence and strong-mindedness are useful qualities in hypnotizability.  Going into a state of hypnosis requires the ability to abstract and to imagine.  The lower in intelligence people are, the more concrete and less imaginative their thinking.  It’s difficult or impossible to hypnotize people with IQs below 75.

Myth 6B

Hypnosis weakens the will.

The client’s will is not eroded in any way.  S/he is always in control and cannot be made to do anything against his or her will.  It should be emphasized that hypnosis is a collaborative process in which the subject always has free will!
Because all hypnosis is really self-hypnosis, the clients actually give every suggestion back to themselves.  The hypnotist has no power over you at all and cannot make you do anything against your will. All the hypnotist does is guide you into a hypnotic state and help you access strengths you already have.  It’s very much like The Wizard of Oz:  The lion already had the courage!

Clients often seek the help of the hypnotist because they have not been able to direct their own wills to think, feel or behave in the ways they want. For instance, food addicts and nicotine addicts have been able to use hypnosis in order to escape the miseries brought on by their inability to control their behaviors. They report that hypnosis increased their willpower.  Hypnosis strengthens the will; it does not weaken it!

Myth 6C

Hypnosis against your will.

A person cannot be hypnotized against his or her will.  Hypnosis is not a clash of wills, but rather a collaborative process in which client and hypnotist work together in order to achieve the result the client wishes.  The client agrees to cooperate with the hypnotist, and the hypnotist agrees to respect the client and use his or her best professional skills to bring about the change that the client (sometimes desperately) wants.

 

Myth 6D

Repeated inductions will weaken the mind.

Repetitive hypnotic induction does not weaken the mind.  In university studies thousands of students have been hypnotized hundreds of times without harm.  And repeatedly going into the deep relaxation of hypnosis or meditation remarkably increases synaptic connections and builds the brain in remarkable ways that have been clearly shown through modern imagery techniques.  Hypnosis strengthens the mind!  The chief reason that people consult professional hypnotists is to gain power over forces within them that they haven’t been able to control on their own.

Myth 6E

When hypnotized, you are in a trance and have no control.
It can truly be said that all of life is hypnosis. “Trance” is a normal state. People see hypnotists because they are unwittingly in unwelcome trances. For instance, they may unconsciously believe that they cannot survive without cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or extra food. Or they may believe that they are imperiled by normal things such as thunder storms, mice, or certain insects, or even having a conversation with a stranger. Or they may believe that life is not worth living, or that they themselves are worthless, and so death seems attractive. If these are not trance states, then there is no trance! Hypnosis gives you control; it does not take it away!

In hypnosis, you are usually awake and aware of what is happening. Hypnosis is like a daydream state. You are awake and aware, but are very relaxed, with your attention focused on a specific thought or image. Also, you always have control. If the hypnotist told you to rob a bank, you would just say, “No” and open your eyes.  Of course, if you really wanted to rob a bank anyway, then you might follow the suggestion to do so. The point is that it is you, not the hypnotist, who makes hypnosis work or not work. Hypnosis helps you to think, feel, and behave the way you want to.

Myth 6F

Hypnosis opens the subject to vulnerability to the Devil or dark forces. 

This is a belief of a small minority (less than 1%) of Christians. Weirdly, many of these same people believe in meditation as a deeper way of knowing God.  Meditation and hypnosis involve the same brainwave states of relaxation!  Not only are hypnosis and meditation not dangerous, but hundreds of studies have showed that the deep state of relaxation achieved in both meditation and hypnosis are highly associated with mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and cause very positive, measurable physical brain improvements over time.

Myth 7

Hypnosis is habit-forming.

While hypnosis is a very pleasant state to be in, there is no possibility of becoming physically addicted, nor can it be habit-forming the way food, drugs alcohol and certain behaviors (eg, gambling, shopping, sex, and hoarding) can sometimes be.  One can be hypnotized many times, but there is no risk to the client that this will become addictive.

Myth 8

If you heard the hypnotist, you were not hypnotized.

This misconception has probably come about due to a common belief which equates the state of hypnosis with sleep or being drugged.  And bad movies have fueled the myth.  Clinical hypnosis is usually experienced as a state of deep relaxation and one-pointed attention. It is very much like being focused on a task or being gripped by a television show or a movie. Of course you hear the movie or the TV show!

While in hypnosis the level of awareness of your surroundings may shift to some degree, but you will still be conscious of the hypnotist or his/her voice.  The better you are able to immerse yourself in your inner world experiences, the less you’ll be aware of your surroundings in the way that you are accustomed to.  That’s why we call hypnosis an altered state of consciousness. In this altered reality, your awareness of the hypnotist may change, but you will still be cognizant of the hypnotist’s talking.

Myth 9

Hypnotism should only be practiced by physicians or psychotherapists.

There is a belief held by a minority of licensed healthcare providers that hypnotism should only be practiced by medical or psychological professionals.  While, of course, these professionals have much to offer, there are many issues which do not require them.  And hypnosis can help people accomplish results that other helping professionals cannot, such as controlling food or nicotine, or uncovering repressed memories and motivations.   Or hypnosis may accomplish the same objective much, much faster.

The editor (a licensed psychotherapist) notes that medical and psychological professionals who use hypnotism usually employ it occasionally as one of many treatments in their therapeutic armamentarium. The body of knowledge in the field of hypnotism is prodigious-and growing-and developing a healthy competence in it requires years of full-time practice.  Dedicated hypnotism professionals immerse themselves in the mastery of the craft, and are therefore usually much better at it than the licensed professionals. Of course, there are psychiatrists, clinical social workers, psychologists, and other licensed mental health professionals who have specialized in hypnosis and have therefore achieved excellence in the field.

Myth 10

Many people cannot be hypnotized.
Most people can be hypnotized. However, some people with certain mental or neurological conditions cannot be hypnotized. Also some or very concrete in their thinking may not be hypnotizable.  And about one percent of the population cannot be hypnotized for reasons that are not known.  Some people are more receptive to hypnosis than others, but most people can be hypnotized, if they want to be.

The editor believes that some few people should not be hypnotized, such as those with psychotic illnesses or with extremely strange beliefs.

Myth 11

Hypnotism can cure anything or solve any personal problem.
No, hypnotism is not a cure-all. It’s very powerful and can fix or alleviate a great many physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual ailments. At times hypnotism can produce what seems to be miracles. But it is not the answer for everything. Hypnosis is a strong, natural tool that most of us have available to us to tap into an amazing resource within to help improve our lives in a great many ways.  If you have questions about whether hypnotism can help you with your problem, talk to a competent, insured professional hypnotist who belongs to a reputable organization of hypnotists, such as the National Guild of Hypnotists.  The NGH at ngh.net can refer you to one. Or contact us at this website.

 

Myth 12

Hypnosis is dangerous.
Hypnosis is practiced by millions of people daily around the globe without any harm. Hypnosis has come and gone several times in the last 6,000 years.  This time around, with the collective worldwide experience of over 100 years, and with more scientific study of hypnosis than ever in history, it can be safely reported that one is more likely to win a super lottery then to be harmed by hypnosis. People are harmed regularly by their fellows through non-hypnotic methods, such as lying, manipulation, betrayal, treachery, sarcasm, verbal abuse, and many others.  It’s conceivable that an unscrupulous person could use these methods while a person is hypnotized. But the hypnosis would not facilitate the perpetration in any way.

And most professional hypnotists belong to professional hypnotism organizations which have strong ethical canons. The editor suggests that you work with hypnotists who belong to large, well-known organizations of professional hypnotists, all of which have codes of ethics for their members. The largest organization of professional hypnotists in the world is the National Guild of Hypnotists.  The NGH holds its members to high standards of preparation, ongoing professional education, and ethical behavior.  Well-trained hypnotism professionals will not accept as clients those very few persons, such as psychotics and some fringe people who think in antisocial or irresponsible ways, who might somehow misinterpret hypnotic suggestions.

The editor also suggests that you make sure that the hypnotist is covered by malpractice insurance, because insurance companies very carefully check out the professional credentials and records of those they insure.

Myth 13

Deep hypnosis is necessary for good results.
Not necessarily.  Any level of hypnosis from light to deep can bring good results, although certain procedures do require sufficient depth in order to work.

Remember, you’re already in a trance.  Proofs of this assertion are your hangups, issues, anxieties, and many of your limitations, fantasies, and unprovable assumptions.

Mark Briggs is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a psychotherapist, a writer, a Certified Hypnotherapist, and an advisor to Alternative Hypnosis in East Syracuse, which is the oldest hypnosis clinic in Central New York.

*This article includes ideas from Joshua Kirnie, Sean Brookhouse, Karen Schwarz, William Kroeger, the editor himself, and many others.

 

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5 Myths About Hypnosis

Mythical Beliefs about Hypnosis

Along with Some Truths

Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt, Editor*

Clinical hypnotism is a rapid-change technique which has gained much more credibility in the last 50 to 70 years. This has occurred as a result of increasing public respect, because of friends telling friends about beneficial (and sometimes miraculous) benefits they have achieved in many areas.  These include-but are not limited to–weight-loss, smoking cessation, stress, anxiety disorders, phobias, depression, medical conditions, self-esteem, childbirth, fertility.  Also, new protocols have been developed through academic research and creative application of the principles of the craft.  And academic studies of its efficacy have impressed physicians, nurses, physician’s assistants, other medical professionals, psychotherapists, and others in the healing arts who refer clients to hypnotists.


But many people still hold misconceptions about the powers and limitations of this wonderful treatment method. This article presents clarifications of some of the most popular myths about hypnotism.

Myth 1

Loss of consciousness.

One of the major misconceptions about hypnosis is that the hypnotized person will lose conscious awareness.  In hypnosis the subject does not lose awareness or fall asleep.  Part of this misconception is based on the name hypnosis which was first used by physician James Braid, after Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep.  The name stuck, and so we hypnotists are stuck with describing what we do as hypnosis, despite its total dissimilarity with sleep.  Hypnosis more closely approximates normal waking consciousness than it does sleep, although, when a person is hypnotized, suggestions are often used which induce a drowsy lethargic state.

In the state of hypnosis a client is alert and aware of all that’s going on around him/her.  Studies employing the electroencephalogram (EEG) were initiated as early as the 1950’s by Aserinsky and Kleitman.  These researchers sought a physiological connection, as defined by EEG criteria, between hypnosis and sleep.  No distinct brain psychophysiology has yet been identified indicating that the EEG of a hypnotized person is distinguishable from that of a person who is relaxed and alert with eyes closed.  Moreover, a deeply sleeping individual will not hear if spoken to, unless roughly awakened by shaking.  Yet a person in hypnosis though seemingly oblivious, will (with a few exceptions) hear and respond to the hypnotist’s speaking.  In a state of hypnosis a person is capable of thinking and reasoning, which doesn’t occur in sleep.

Myth 2

Hypnotized people do crazy things.

This can be said of people whether they are in a hypnotic trance or in a normal waking state.  Just look at the daily news!  But if you have ever witnessed a stage hypnosis show, you can see how people could get the impression that people do odd things in a hypnotic state and that the hypnotist’s commands are followed without question.  Hypnotists who consult with the public to help them with their everyday issues tell the concerned client that stage hypnotists are entertainers.  To achieve an entertaining show, the hypnotist must invoke in his or her volunteer subjects outrageous and comical behavior.  People only go into hypnosis if they want to, and they only accept the suggestions they wish to accept.  So, often in a stage hypnosis show, volunteers refuse the suggestions given to them, and they are then usually sent off the stage and back to their seats.

Hypnotism in an office setting is used for serious, rapid-change purposes, and so suggestions won’t be made for the subject to engage in any absurdities, as in stage shows.  If one were asked to do so, s/he would emerge from hypnosis and most likely leave the office and consult another hypnotist.  Also, not everything you see at a stage “hypnosis” show is hypnosis.  The entertainers employ many different maneuvers in order to manipulate the volunteers into doing the silly and outlandish behaviors which the audience paid to see.

Myth 3

Surrender of the will or loss of control.

If hypnotists could get their subjects to do their will, hypnotism would be one of the most legislated professions on earth!  Control by the hypnotist is a common misconception portrayed in grade B movies, where the hypnotist character uses his power to accomplish evil purposes such as seducing the beautiful young woman. While some might find this entertaining, the truth is far more mundane:  All hypnotism is really self-hypnosis.  The subject takes in each suggestion and, if acceptable, gives it back to himself or herself. This means that hypnosis is a consensual state and a collaboration between the subject and the hypnotist. If a subject does not want to enter hypnosis or accept the suggestions being given, s/he will not.

Hypnotism is a profession which usually draws kind-hearted, well-meaning, spiritual, ethical, and altruistic people. Also, successful hypnotists usually subscribe to a code of ethics. For instance, the National Guild of Hypnotists, the largest society of professional hypnotists in the world, mandates all of its members to subscribe to its ethical canons.  These canons require hypnotists to place the client first in all matters. NGH-certified hypnotists jealously guard their reputations and their right to belong to the Guild.

Myth 4

Revelation of secrets and hypnosis as truth serum or lie detector.

These misconceptions again comes from the old movie image of hypnosis where the all-powerful hypnotist mesmerizes a hapless victim to involuntarily reveal a secret formula or other sensitive information.  Hypnosis is often believed, by those who have not experienced this beneficial state, to be a truth serum.  When in a state of hypnosis, a client will not reveal or discuss anything that s/he would not disclose in a normal waking state.  However, hypnosis is a powerful modality in helping people to uncover secrets they have from themselves.  In hypnotic regression, it is often possible to recover forgotten information which can be useful in helping people to solve problems they’ve been unable to fix through other methods, including psychotherapy.

People often call hypnotists to be get themselves or others hypnotized in order to reveal some sought-after truth or to prove innocence.  Most often it involves a romantic relationship, and there’s a suspicion of infidelity.  The caller wants to use hypnosis to determine the truth about the other’s sexual behavior, or to prove his or her own fidelity.  Because all hypnosis is really self-hypnosis and because the state of hypnosis usually feels no deeper than being immersed in a task or a good book, then, of course, people can lie while in the hypnotic state!  If your mate wants to prove his or her innocence, s/he should consent to a lie detector test.

Myth 5

Getting stuck in hypnosis.

Often the prospective subject will ask, “What happens if you cannot get me out of hypnosis?  What if you have a heart attack while I’m hypnotized?”  The answer, “Open your eyes and get me help!”  There is no danger of the subject not being revived from hypnosis.  Because the subject holds the control, there is no difficulty in terminating the hypnotic state,

Except in rare circumstances when the subject is having such a pleasant experience, that s/he chooses not to emerge for awhile longer.

Often treatment is hastened when clients listen to recorded hypnosis programs or do self-hypnosis at home. At the end of the hypnosis sessions, they either bring themselves out of hypnosis or fall asleep.

On rare occasions the suggestions to terminate hypnosis will be ignored.  There are two possible reasons for this:

1)    The subject has lapsed into a natural sleep, in which case the hypnotist will have lost communication and rapport, or

2)    The hypnotic state may be so pleasurable that the subject does not wish to emerge and will ignore back-to-awareness suggestions.  This of course disproves the notion that the hypnotist has any control over the subject.

If there is no response to the reviving suggestions, there is no cause for alarm.  An experienced hypnotist would have no problem handling this situation, which rarely occurs.

Mark Briggs is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a psychotherapist, a writer, a Certified Hypnotherapist, and an advisor to Alternative Hypnosis in East Syracuse, which is the oldest hypnosis clinic in Central New York.

*This article includes ideas from Joshua Kirnie, Sean Brookhouse, Karen Schwarz, William Kroeger, the editor himself, and many others.

Hypnotherapist in Syracuse

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Selflessness Disorder

By Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt

I want you to think about why you’re overweight.  But let me save you a lot of time: The reason you’re fat is that you give more to other people than you give to yourself, because you don’t feel you’re worth it.

The bottom line is, you cannot lose weight until you make yourself enough of a priority to do the things you need to do to make it happen.  People always say, “I’m too busy to exercise,” “I have to be there for the kids.” “I’ve got too much work.”  You know what?  These are little lies you’re telling yourself, and they go against the laws of self-preservation, because the more whole and healthy you are, the more fully you can give to other people.  And that’s the truth.  I’m not asking anyone to abandon her children.  I’m just saying: Put yourself at the top of the list so you can treat your body with as much care and respect as you’d give to someone else’s—and when anyone needs something from you, you will be operating from a full cup.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Magazine, February 2005


As the profession of psychotherapy moves through time, what society thinks of as mental illness and mental distress changes.  Originally, for instance, mental illness was considered devil-possession.  In the early part of the last century, alcohol and drug addiction were thought of as moral illnesses and now they are generally seen as diseases. One of western civilization’s new conditions used to be called minimal brain dysfunction.  Now it’s called ADD, and has been the subject of books and even lawsuits focusing on whether it even exists.  Last month, an author suggested a new mental health disorder called nature deprivation disorder, arising from our children living lives focused on electronic media and computers and being cut off from nature.  In the beginning of my professional career, homosexuality was a bonafide mental illness, listed in our professions diagnostic codebook.  Now it is viewed as a lifestyle choice or as a basic component of a person’s nature.  As psychiatry and psychology move forward, we hope that we are making progress in seeing mental and emotional dysfunction more clearly.

For years, I have noticed a behavioral tendency amongst human service providers and others which causes people with it to experience a decrease of joy and aliveness.  I call it Nurses’ Selflessness Syndrome.  A syndrome is a group of signs and symptoms.  However, sometimes these behaviors, and the thoughts and feelings under them, are so severe that they might well constitute a disorder. Although Nurses’ Selflessness Syndrome occurs in both genders, I see it much more in women, the major portion being in nursing, with large representations in other helping professions. Of course, it also occurs across all vocations and in the unemployed.  It is characterized by excessive focus on voluntarily meeting the needs of others in daily situations at the expense of the victim’s own enjoyment and gratification.

The people may do it to avoid the guilt of feeling selfish, in order to feel connected with others, or for many other reasons.    Sometimes people suffering from this syndrome are unconsciously using their compulsive giving as a way of avoiding their own emotional pain and conflicts.  Sometimes they are just seeking approval.  Other people may have other reasons. A person with these behaviors often acutely feels the pain of other people, very often identifying with victims because there was a lot of physical or emotional pain in his/her childhood.

Although I had seen this phenomenon in my practice of therapy for years, I noticed it more when I began to focus my professional efforts on weight loss a couple of years ago.  The proportion of nurses in my weight-loss service is much, much higher than the percentage in either my practice of psychotherapy or in the population at large.

It appears to me that people with  Selflessness Syndrome give and give and give until they are depleted.  Not only are they giving at work but also at home and sometimes in volunteer capacities as well.  Often they are secretly angry with themselves for sacrificing so much or resentful at the very people to whom they are giving.  The depletion and resentment ultimately cause them to futilely try to fill the void or medicate the anger with one of the quickest and most basic mechanisms available—food.  Sometimes the feelings are medicated with alcohol, shopping, or other addictions.  Selflessness pattern causes problems for the sufferer because s/he gives way too much to others and practically nothing to herself.  Or s/he is giving, not out of spontaneous, joyful sharing, but because of some ulterior motive that s/he does not recognize.  It is often accompanied by a feeling of sacrifice.  I originally published this in In Good Health, and there I called the behavior Nurses’ Selflessness Syndrome.  I might have called it by a variety of names, such as Selflessness Syndrome or Excessive Sacrificing Syndrome, but I wanted to get the attention of the large IGH readership of nurses and other helping professionals, in whose legions the condition is endemic.

How to fix it?  As with most problems, recognizing the behavior as inhibiting one’s life satisfaction rather than contributing to it is the first step.  In severe cases, psychotherapy is often necessary to get at the root causes.  However, in most instances the victim simply identifies new ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving that s/he wants and starts a process of change.  Learning to set boundaries is necessary for some.  Help in this area can come from reading about assertiveness training, in such sources as When I Say No I Feel Guilty.  As with so many psychological hang-ups, self-talk is important.  Most people who start on a course of self-treatment for this syndrome feel guilty and selfish when they begin to reasonably take pleasure for themselves.  Doing the new behavior and then talking back to the self-accusations that inevitably follow can be very helpful.  I said that for many sufferers the remedy is simple, but it isn’t necessarily easy.  However, as with most change processes, the benefits make it well worth it.  Correcting this imbalance increases joy, aliveness, and self-esteem.

 
 

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Mind Sweep. A column on thoughts, feelings and behaviors

Mind Sweep

A column on thoughts, feelings and behaviors,

By Mark Briggs, LCSW

Abuse Collecting

We all know at least one angry, dissatisfied, malcontent who is always complaining about this and that injustice, irritated, mad at the world.  In Mysterious Stranger, Mark Twain said “every man is a suffering-machine and a happiness-machine combined…some times a man’s make up and disposition are such that his misery-machine is able to do all the business.”  Abe Lincoln said that “most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be,” but this doesn’t seem to apply to the malcontents, who seem to be the slaves of some dark inner program. I call them abuse collectors. They save every little slight and violation as if it were a pearl of great price, and if they can’t find enough real mistreatment, they imagine it.  Some even provoke it.

You may have been astonished at the stunning blindness of abuse collectors, who rail at telephone solicitors, social rudeness, stupid electorates, idiotic politicians, unfeeling neighbors, religion, God, natural disasters, squirrels, and even the neighbors’ quack grass.  They seem to be personally affronted by the fantasized beliefs that both God and other people are picking  on them and that most human behavior, except their own, is caused by stupidity, selfishness, or the deliberate intent to inflict pain.  Such people seem to have scanners which recognize only the worst in life and to delete recognition of blessings, serendipities, courtesy and kindness.  You feel like screaming, “Wake up!”

I have described the extreme version of this syndrome, but most of us have the suffering machine to some extent.  Why do we go to such trouble, not only to gather these little hurts, but to put them into illuminated display cases and admire and praise them?  For various reasons.

First, we all tend to notice what’s wrong more than what’s right, because we have to be alert to danger.  Many biologists speculate that, as part of this alertness mechanism, all humans have an inborn injustice-monitoring device and that it would have provided a benefit to primitive cave men and women.  The theory goes that noticing unfairness would have helped early hunter-gatherer clans and tribes to help insure against freeloaders—those who were not contributing their fair share to the survival of the group.

The psychoanalyst Edmund Bergler, who wrote about masochism, noticed the most intriguing reason for the focus on unfairness and persecution—that some people unconsciously actually enjoy the pain for its own sake.   That is, the feeling of victimization is its own reward! This is the most meaningless of the purposes accomplished by the pattern—and perhaps the most common.

Another end brought about by abuse collecting is that it allows people to avoid taking responsibility for their own contributions to their woes.  Furthermore, the resulting self-pity provides them with delicious attention and sympathy from others.  A similar form of abuse collecting occurs when people are unable to experience their own anger, and to accomplish this estrangement from themselves, unconsciously imagine their hostility coming back at them from others. This is called paranoia, and it comes in mild, moderate, and severe forms. And sometimes the provoking of injustice may be a form of self-punishment for real or imagined sins.

Regardless of the cause, it appears to me that abuse collectors are largely unaware of their habits.  If you know a serious abuse collector s/he deserves your compassion.  If you are an abuse collector (remember, most of us do it, at least a little), it’s abusive of yourself and others.  It’s an unnecessary and inelegant trait.  It is treatable.  And almost definitely, you cannot stop on your own.

Mark Briggs, LCSW, CH

Mark Briggs is a licensed clinical social worker who operates Alternative Hypnosis in East Syracuse.

 

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Do 12-step Programs Work?

By Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt

Addiction might be described as a repeating compulsion to engage in a behavior which has proven not to be good for you.  The ritual could be ingesting mood-altering substances such as cocaine, alcohol, food, or nicotine, or it might involve behaviors, such as compulsive caretaking, gambling, sex, shopping, or hoarding.  In the 1930’s, Alcoholics Anonymous was developed by alcoholics themselves in response to the inability of the medical and  psychotherapy professions back then  to produce high and long-term rates of abstinence.

Three of AA’s important tools are:

1) the new design for living embodied in their Twelve Steps,

2) fellowship,

3) individual sponsorship of each member by more experienced people.

Gradually many folks suffering from other compulsive disorders adopted the treatment model.  First, compulsive codependents formed Alanon.  Then Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and many other addiction-specific groups were formed.  Millions of people worldwide now belong to 12-step groups.

How well does the 12-step program work to eliminate compulsive behavior?  Most of the research has been done on the original program, AA, and we will assume that these results would be similar for other programs. But doing  definitive  research on the efficacy of AA has been all but impossible for various reasons, including that each of its thousands of groups implement its methods inconsistently, and that AA members often simultaneously use other approaches, such as psychotherapy and medications.  Still, various studies have concluded that AA can facilitate the transition to sobriety, that it compares favorably with other therapies and that it certainly works better than getting no help.

As a seasoned psychotherapist, with a specialty in addictions, including food, I have some very relevant observations to contribute regarding whether you should use a 12-Step program:  I have seen miracles happen to clients who committed themselves to the 12-step process.

Repeatedly, people have told me that they got their lives back as a result of working a 12-step program.  I believe that attendance at a 12-step program would be at least helpful—and maybe crucial—for any addict.   (Other approaches might include psychotherapy, medication, spirituality, hypnosis and a range of alternative treatments.)  12-step groups also cost practically nothing.  And regardless of what their overall success rate is, consider this:  If it turns out that attending a 12-step group was necessary in your gaining control over your addiction, then the program was 100% successful for you.

If the question is “Should I try a 12-step program for my addiction?”, the answer is an unqualified YES!

For more information visit our website:

 

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The Sheen is Gone

The Sheen is Gone!

By Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt

It took the largest Japanese earthquake in recent memory, the subsequent tsunami, and the threatened meltdown of several of that country’s nuclear reactors to shift the American public away from its obsessive interest in Charlie Sheen’s meltdown.  We have followed the drug dramas of Robert Downey, Jr., Brittney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and many others.  We are to fascinated by the rich and famous self-destructing, but their antics  offer us valuable lessons in regard to drug and alcohol abuse as well. I have treated Addictions for nearly 40 years.  I see the curse of addictions destroying, not only addicts, but families,  friendships, and businesses.

As I am writing this article on March 17. 2011,  Charlie Sheen is headed for a cliff.  It appears to me that he has a mental illness as well as addiction.  But dually-diagnosed people are saved from the ravages of addiction every day.

Mr. Sheen’s public pronouncements have been so infused with DENIAL that even common people can see it.  He denies the seriousness of his problems, his need for outside help, and even the role he has played in bringing his problems  on himself.  He has lost his children and a job which paid him over two million dollars per episode, and he has rendered unemployed most of the staff of his award-winning show, 2 ½ Men.  Like most addicts, he sees himself as the victim of “fools” and “trolls”.  He embodies the best acronym for the word DENIALDon’t Even Know I am Lying.  He lies to everyone, but his chief perpetration is lying to himself.  If you have known active addicts up close, you have seen this lying to self and others.  Addiction commandeers the addict’s intelligence and uses it in its own service.  Charlie Sheen is very smart, but his intelligence is now an employee of the addiction.

The denial is also seen in Sheen’s superiority and grandiosity.  He calls himself a” tiger” and a” warlock”, and he blatantly says he is a superior man.  This arrogant grandiosity is one of the hallmarks of addiction.  Active addicts tend to believe they are exempt from moral, civic, psychological and even spiritual laws.  Charlie Sheen further displays his addiction with his assertion that he can stop on his own.  From time immemorial, the idea that they can quit without help is a delusion that addicts have chased to the gates of insanity and death.

What Charlie Sheen needs first, is to re-admit his powerlessness over his drugs of choice, including alcohol.  Then he needs to be around clear minds—whether professional or experienced 12-steppers—long enough to clear out his own chemically addled brain.  And, he may also need proper psychiatric medication.

I hope that his statements about breaking free from the cult of AA are not taken seriously by active local addicts.  In his denial, Charlie Sheen forgets that Alcoholics Anonymous, and perhaps Narcotics Anonymous, helped him to rebuild his career, gave him the clarity of mind to use his prodigious acting talents, and enabled him to keep one of the highest-paying jobs in American television.  To say that Charlie Sheen is headed for a cliff is only half-correct, because he’s already halfway over.  He has lost his marriage, his beloved children and the salary that pays for his lavish lifestyle.  Only time will tell what hitting the rocks at the foot of the cliff will cause him:  Imprisonment, impoverishment, health problems, and death are all serious possibilities.

If you think you may have a problem with chemical addiction, you can call the Onondaga Council on Alcoholism/Addictions at 471-1373 or the equivalent agency in your own county.

Mark Briggs, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice.

He operates Alternative Behavior Hypnosis & Counseling in East Syracuse.

 

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How to Parent

How to Parent

By Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt

Do you want to know how to do a good job raising your kids. You could buy a book on parenting. The question is, which one of the 40-000 (really) can give you the straight poop? Consider that many of the authors of these books are relying much more on their own ideas than on principles derived from research. This is not to discourage you from reading parenting books. There are many good ones which are based on current childrearing research.

Recently Psychologist Robert Epstein did some research to discover what are the qualities of good parents. He found out that some things your grandmother told you are true, like, good parents express lots of affection and give unconditional love,

But he found some surprises too. For instance women are no better than men at parenting. Also, neither sexual orientation, race, nor ethnicity affect the quality in good parenting. And, interestingly, some of the ten competencies that were identified have nothing to do with the parent’s relationship with their offspring. For instance the parent’s ability to manage his or her own stress is one of the competencies discovered. Another is the ability to have a good relationship with the other parent. Before the study, experts thought that supporting the child’s religious or spiritual development is not a useful parental competency, and they were shocked when the study revealed that it is.

Even so, there seems to be an illusive general parenting ability. Some people just seem to have a talent for parenting that’s hard to describe in scientific terms. However, parenting skills generally improve with the amount of education the parents have. And it is wonderful to know that specific education and training in parenting improves childrearing outcomes.

Here are ten parental characteristics that Epstein’s research indicated are qualities which yield emotionally healthy children:

Love and affection. You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.
Stress management. You take steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques and promote positive interpretations of events.
Relationship skills. You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with people.
Autonomy and independence. You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.
Education and learning. You promote and model learning and provide educational opportunities for your child.
Life skills. You provide for your child, have a steady income and plan for the future.
Behavior management. You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed.
Health. You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.
Religion. You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.
Safety. You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child’s activities and friends.

You can take Epstein’s parenting test at http://MyParentingSkills.com

Mark Briggs, LCSW, CHt

For more about Hypnosis Services visit: http://www.alternativehypnosisny.com/otherhypnosis.htm

 

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